i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
