DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize