Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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