no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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