I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
