I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
