3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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