Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
