i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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