I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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