ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
