worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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