So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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