It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
