Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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