There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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