dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
