Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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