I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
