I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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