The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
