As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
