I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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