just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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