You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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