Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
