No, you can still breathe under the balls.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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