I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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