Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
