She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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