I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
