yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
