just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
