What did we do last night that was yellow?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
