i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
