I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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