Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Semen is not good for contacts.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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