ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
