i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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