Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
