The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
