That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
