Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
