Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
