This is not my ceiling
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
