Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
