hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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