I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
