I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
