I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
