I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
