I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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