theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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